Do you ever feel like you take so much abuse from your kids? I know all of you just nodded your head in a very positive way. I was just reflecting on it this morning, while Nicky was ordering me around. I can see where Tommy bosses me around, he's only a baby and has needs that I can only provide (like a boob), and he cannot talk yet. So at that age, I forgive him easily for being a chef. But then I look at the others, who should be old enough to become less selfish and demanding. Granted, they do ease up with age, I might even admit that Alex is almost starting to think that I might have feelings and needs to, so there is hope. Maddy and Elly are getting there, especially Elly who is very sensitive and makes sure she compensate for others' bad behavior: I'm telling you, the longer the other kid's horns grow, the bigger Elly's halo gets!
So yes, my morning reflection was all about Nicky. It never seize to amaze me how temperamental that child is. Things have to be a certain way, or the world falls appart. "It's my way or the highway", that expression never fit anyone better than Nickster. Then, to top it all, he pees and poops his pants! So, why do I love him so? I did ask myself that question this morning. He bosses me around, orders me around, has tantrums, is a picky eater, why why why do I love him? Would I be one of those women who gets beat up everyday by her husband and still stays in the relationship? I don't think so, I usually don't take crap from people. So the answer must be in that motherhood magic that was bestowed upon me with each child. It's that fairy mother dust that we get sprinkled with when we lay eyes on our child for the first time. It's that hidden secret unconscious second heart that we grow while expecting a child, the one heart that can take abuse and make it into excuses, that can take laziness and turn it to patience, that can take selfishness and transform it into hope for the future. I have that second heart, I must have one so that my main medically recognized heart doesn't give out at the sight of pee on the floor again, dirty dishes un-rinsed lost in the sink, unrecognizable white socks roaming the bathroom floor and chocolate encrusted in the new carpet. It takes a good solid heart to raise a child, that's why we mothers have a second secret one as a back up, I'm sure of it.
2 comments:
What a great explanation for exactly what I feel! Although, sometimes I think I need two secret hearts just to keep the other one beating and keeping me going!
Awesome! Love it! Well said.
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